*I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
*Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out,
about $1000 more
*So I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
*I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
*Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
and my all-time favourite!
*and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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